Unresolved Daddy Issues are the New Sex Kink
self-realization at its finest
I have a thing for older men. And men with authority.
Double points if it’s an older man with authority. Quadruple points if they have a name based off a religious text.
I’ve known it for a while now. I’ve been in too many situations with grey-haired men and thought,
Do I have daddy issues?
Back in college, I tried to be a stripper (the usual giveaway), but my lack of rhythm under the seedy male gaze held me back.
I’ve started noticing… Do I have a type?
Skinny (enough to fight my way free if I need to)
Muscular (enough to toss me around in bed)
long hair
tattoos, and
connected with nature (barefoot if they really mean it)
And did I mention authority? I’m not talking anything crazy, but a lil something (like owning a business or controlling work hours) can go a long way.
As far as the religious name, that’s been going on since I moved out at 18 and was no longer forced to go to church every Sunday. That’s ten years of sleeping with men with the name of a god, god’s friends, or the stereotypical Jesus lookalike. Shoutout to the Portuguese guy who saved me at a music festival wearing a shirt that said “Jesus looks like me”.
The situation that made me finally recognize the "issue"?
The Indian who resembled the Native American who also resembled the Brit from last summer.
An Indian with the name of a god.
When he first told me his name, I smiled. I couldn’t help it.
Oh, so you’re like, important? – my first thought after I hear god’s name
Why else would this shop owner have such a powerful name?
For the next four hours, I’m squatting on a chair, passing a joint back and forth with god 9,000 miles from home.
He’s flirting and I’m accepting the effort. Sometime after the 3rd or 4th round I remember I have candle-gazing plans tonight with some yoginis. I’m gonna have to go soon.
It’s on my walk home that I start this piece, and I accept my kinks/daddy issues.
Now it’s time to decide if all issues need to be resolved…